Friday, November 18, 2011

Hello?! Can you hear me? Golly gee we need COMMUNICATION!

There are multiple ways of communicating and everyone thinks their way of communicating is the right way. When a marriage happens between two separate beings with two very separate ideas on communication that can lead to problems when not directly dealt with. Our teacher, Brother Williams gave an example in class between the different ways his wife's family and his family show appreciation to another person. He had worked painting her car for many many hours and when she saw what he did she said, "Hey, thanks." Brother Williams is used to having someone show so much appreciation saying, "Oh thanks you so much, I truly appreciate what you have done for me, I cannot show enough gratitude..etc" The way she acted was not wrong but made Brother Williams feel like she really did not care for the work he had done for her.

A raising of an eyebrow can mean multiple different things in different families and coming from different people. In class we found that some believed this gesture to mean 'you are in trouble' 'tell me the gossip' 'i did something that you would be interested in' etc. In another one of my classes on campus we used a listener/speaker technique where the listener will ask the speaker to clarify the understanding of what they are saying. This way you can avoid misunderstandings within the partnership. This takes time and knowledge to work with your partner and make sure they understand what you are saying, how you are saying it, and even the nonverbal gestures one can do.

Be careful with how you are communicating with your spouse, family, and everyone. Be cautioned with sarcasm. I thought about when it is good to use sarcasm and I could not think of any. Think about it! Know what you are doing and learn what your spouse is communicating to you. It will bring you closer together when you can understand each other.

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